the truth..

iits hard to concentrate with u reading over my shoulder.

today = horrible
the only good thing about my day was hangin wiith Mr. Cooper. iive always wondered why certain people come in and out of your liife at the times they do. there iis no one that ive purposley placed around me, but ii willingly remove many.. ..iit wasnt until ii stepped into the house that ii realiized how long id been gone, and how much ii had missed. ii felt badd for being away so long... and iit makes me want to b that way again even more ii think. iim curious to see what an older, more expeirenced, and mature version of ourselves would be liike together.. we still seem to know each other..and id assume there wuld be less arguments... theres more tension then n e thing... is there such thing as a second first kiss?..lol. till this day, ii can say ive never loved n e one as hard as hiim..and its not that im holding on, ii just never really let go. iit has nuthing to do wiith the history, but that dus help. to see someone change and grow into the person they are iis amazing to me. as much of an idiot he is, its kool to be able to have a serious conversation when needed. iim just anxious to see whut this will result iin..

-SlowPoke'

[PERiiOD]...

the grossest most worst thing to me is to wake up and realize that Ive started my periiod. it puts a damper on my entire day. we wear diapers when were little, diapers when were teens, and diapers when were old. its so frustrating. iits more inconvenient then n e thing.. evrything hurts, and the one day ii feel like going swimming, ii cant....

evrythiing hurts.




cramps... so fukk off.


-SlowPoke

ive come to realize

ii tend to hold them to a certain standard. high expectations usually. but once someone distorts that image that ii have of them, and there "true's" come out.. ii tend to stray away from them. ego-centric people, have never gotten far with me. its okay to be focused on goals in life, but there is a certain way for everything to be handled.FOR XAMPLE, ii would never walk into something that ii myself wasnt ready for. and in recent occasions, i have found this a frequent problem..i have the chance to once again be with someone who at one point was all that really mattered to me, this person fits into me perfectly..but moms aint haviin it. and ii wanna be able to be with this person, when ii have full control of evrything..when ive reached full adult hood if u will.. ii want to go into it making sure theres no room for mistakes. because ii feel like THIS TIME, if it dusnt work out...there is no 3rd chance..there can only be one intermission....but with the other person..things are very convient,and of course, moms wuldnt hav it n e uther way...but iim juss so off him. what was broken can not be regained.. my respect level in a way has gone down, and thers more of a resentment...like a lost friendship, that is now trying to be forced backtogether. kisses dont mean n e thing to me anymore. neither do hugs, or deep stares. ive recently become a less forgiving person..and when i do forgive, its very hard to forget..because all ii see iis the bad that happend..

-SlowPoke'

DEAR GABBY!!
I LOVE YOU! IN THE MOST HOMO-iiST WAY..
ii ddnt realize that u didnt do n e thing at all for ur "suppose to be birthday weekend.."
u went to church..LMAO..and ii had strep throat..im sorry ii wasnt even allowed to come out my room, let alone a short bus ride to ur always filled refrigerator..
WE'LL BE MAKING UP FOR THAT when u come back. u wuldnt believe how many cupcakes ii had n honur of u.


NEXT ORDER OF BiiZ-NAZZ!!

though only a handful of people are aware of my recent adventures with certain person(s), let me just say, that it has been well worth it. what keeps my pimp hand strong?..(when SLIM is unavailable)listeing to TRINA, but not once she fell in love..im talkin diamond princess, back when she was all about getting head and takin they money.she fell in love, and fell off. yet another example of why ii cringe at the sound of a relationships. id like to openly request that ii shuld be aloud to reap the benifts of having a boyfriend, without dealing with the consequences of compromise..id like the affection without the obligation. and in recent events i seem to stumbled on just that. so i find myself happy and content.....BUT..is it wrong to treat others the same way, when the others are those u were once in a "committed" relationship with?..when you shared a diffrrent outlook on love, that u do now?. its not that im trying to string n e one along... but it seems when things are going the way im most comfortable, here comes my past trying to "give it another go".....

“to tell u ii love you, would be admitting defeat”

Its okay to love people. And I do love people. Everyone that ii don’t block on aim. Ii love them, just some more then others. When dealing with .”POTENTIALS”, if u will, Ii feel that to a certain extent the words “I love you”, should be held back. They should be swallowed by all means necessary..by telling a man those 3 words, is to sign over all rights of freedom && attachment. ii can love someone and not even have to be in a relationship with them..but ii duobt the person ii am now, wuld allow me to tell them that..Men don’t deserve to feel important...not right away n e way.Ii can name 3 people that ii wuld do about n e thing for.. and they give me a slight hope for my future ex husband..hell, all 3 of them will prolly be my future ex husbands.The moral of this very incomplete story: I love being able to hold love iin.

"a real piimp. can piimp wit her hands stilll in her pockets" _SLIM

Mommy you looking like
I’m just another guy
That came to check it
That came to wreck it
No disrespect but mommy that’s correct
Cause what’s in them jeans just got my mind hectic
I can see that you’re feeling my Fashion
Is it cause im flashing or is it this cash that’s just
Way too reckless or is it this necklace
Wait let me interrupt myself with this message (see)

(Chorus)
I don’t wanna be loved, I don’t wanna be loved
I just want a quickie
No bite marks no scratches and no hickies
If you can get with that mommy come get with me
I don’t wanna be loved, I don’t wanna be loved
I just want a quick fix up in your mix miss
Send me your wish list, I’ll have you addicted
So mommy come hit this

Mommy I realize that I’m mannish
Speak the language of love like Spanish
(Speaking Spanish) I’m so obscene and ya know what I mean
Yeah sorry that was Portuguese and I speak with ease…please…
Get on them knees
I got a penny for your thoughts if you know what I mean

(Chorus)
I don’t wanna be loved, I don’t wanna be loved
I just want a quickie no bite marks no scratches and no hickies
If you can get with that mommy come get with me
I don’t wanna be loved, I don’t wanna be loved
I just want a quick fix up in your mix miss
Send me your wish list, I’ll have you addicted
So mommy come hit this

(Hook)
Don’t be offended babe by what I say
It’s just a game
And how I play
pilige & plunder
call me ya plumber
Knock on this wood get rocked by this thunder
(repeat hook)

(Chorus)
I don’t wanna be loved, I don’t wanna be loved
I just want a quickie no bite marks no scratches and no hickies
If you can get with that mommy come get with me
I don’t wanna be loved, I don’t wanna be loved
I just want a quick fix up in your mix miss
Send me your wish list, I’ll have you addicted
So mommy come hit this

WERE EVEN KASEY!!