....

ii find it hard to sleep alone at night. having another person next to me gives me a since of security.. when alone.. it leaves my mind to wonder.. to replay the painful process my life is currently going thru. i try to water it down with drunken nights && lots of sex..(to be blunt).. my worries crowd my mind.. but only when alone. silence is my worst enemy..silence is awkward and is like a mirror.. leaving you with no jokes , no background music. just you and your thoughts.. i try to stay focused on the things i need to do to move foward in life.. but patience couldnt be n e harder if i had to stand on clouds to achieve it.. everything seems to be in slow motion. almost loosing my grandmother... paying bills.. REAL bills.. RENT money is no joke. all these things woke up me.. but iit makes me want to run away from adult hood even more. it doesnt hurt when i sleep. .. its when i wake up and things are no diffrent... i hope that this is all worth it. surrounding myself with people that care about me is all thats getting me thru each day.. goodnight world.