im really trying to figure out whats wrong with me.. i always played around.. like yea.. sure, i hav issues.. but i reallly do. pain is alot deeper then the word. indescribable && unbearable iis what i walk around feeling. like when you use all your energy crying for a long period of time, yelling, and screaming, and panting.. and then the after effects are feeling drained, unaccomplised, and tired... thats how my days are. i wake up mad that i even had to wake up, and then my whole day is filled with fatigue, and bitterness. i sumtimes wish i kuld juss stay sleep forever.. i dropped out of college.. (for the semester).. ii sleep all day until i have work.. and my nights consist of going where ever the wind blows. i find it hard to sleep alone. so i dont sleep until 4, 5 , sometimes 6 in the morning.. and thats my cycle.. ive decided to take some time away from the world... im gunna be my own dissapearing act. and for the next 2 weeks, im juss gunna go... and be.. ive come to the conclusion that god hates me. whoever he is.. he's decided it was a mistake to give me happiness. the little moments i have to laugh, or smile.. im quickly reminded of every reason not to smile. . i dunno whut to do any more.. drinking && partying, dusnt cover up misery. i hav to look at myself evryday in the mirror, and everyday i see all the coverups writinn on my forehead. i know that i have alot wrong in mylife, and im young, so its okay.. but i guess.. my problem was asking for help... the few people that are lucky enuff to kno whut im going thru... those r the people i truly kare about.. and its only for them that im seeking this help..because ive given up on prayers and birthday wishes..