my thoughts wont let me fall asleep... i fear that i am a burden to the people that care about me.. with n e little type of strain on my chest, my air flow stops complelty.. laughing to hard, getting to upset, walking to fast... its getting worse..i cant explain it, its like a stabbing..and a twisting all at once i try to stay optimistic but its hard feeling like i have a 80 pound medicine ball for a heart sumtimes.. i try to stay positive always smiling, making sure everyone else is okay.. forgetting my own well being.. forgetting how sick ii am really capable of getting.. ii dont wanna go back to how i was.. to bedrest, and breathing treatments..saltine crakers.. wut am i , a senior citizen.. thats why i try to always be out enjoying every moment of the life i have, because i secretly feel like, it will be short lived..like my destiny in life is to help uthers with their journey, while i never really make it to my own..my nightmare is always this.. filled with images of loosing people who no longer need me.. always finding sum new soul to shower with love and a since of life...
goodnight world.. for now ii hope
p.s.
fresh out the hospital. good lookin CHRIS! who SAVED MY LIFE!! smh..@ everyone else..