so iim having second thoughts about this pool party.. according to my life, this would be the first actual bf/gf outting ive ever had.. (ii can see gabby && E laughin at me) . im almost twenty years old && ive never been sumwhere with an actual boyfriend as like ..a public outting, where everyone basically knows us both.. like going to functions together doesnt count, because its night time,dark, && ii cant tell if any one is staring. lol. ii feel like this is an all baad situation waiting to happen.. things like this make me extreeeemly nervous.. sorry i missed this part of my life.. so ii dont kno whut im suppose to do.. lol. the normal part of me, would be doin my own thing... but the newly protective && strongly possesive self, wants to handd cuff him to my belt loop, hang a big sign that reads he's taken && no he doesnt want your number so you can help promote... lol. reading this myself, ii kno that im crazy. but that still doesnt help with me deciding on whether to even go.. i trust him but alot more when im not around (backwards??). becus i cant see it. ii feel like he wouldnt do anything out of line.. especially not in my face.. but females dont care. .especially half naked girls wit they ass && titties out for the world to see.. && then if they perform..(rolling my eyes)...i am fully secure with myself and my relationship.. but iit still wierds me out.. this whole thing is so overwhelming..i feel like im going with him to a strip club or sumthin.. im gunna b the only girl with actual clothes on.. && thats exactly how i want it. cargos && my sneaks.. my comfort zone..