"Tears are sometimes an inappropriate response to death. When a life has been lived completely honestly, completely successfully, or just completely, the correct response to death's perfect punctuation mark is a smile. "

juss got a call from my mom while at work.. g-moms is in the hospital.. had a stroke.. my 79 year old great grandmother is loosing strength right in front of my eyes. she had been sick for a while, nothing major..but never been hospitalized.. the one that holds my family together..ii have this deep pain in my chest,throat, && stomach.. ii can handle when IM the one not okay, because i know that i will be ok.. but ii feel so helpless. iim beggining to realize that without question, she will die before me. hopefully no time soon, but i just keep thinking about the circle of life, and how people will die.. one day i will die.. i unno.. its not sumthing i like to think of.. last funeral ii went to was my dads... ii cant imagaine having to go thru that again.. especially now...

i know that i have the perfect family for the perfect disasters.. strong willed, we keep each other up.. im the only one that doesnt cry out loud. im looked at as the one making the calls, finding out the info, all while trying to keep everyone else calm with a smile or a few jokes... no matter what we always get thru things..