as the days of very loud silence disturb my sleep && thoughts, the more ii feel like shit. there ii said iit. im sure the self pity on my shoulder is happy now.. how i should have reacted in the moment is now how this entire day is becoming.. filled with private meltdowns && mini panick attacks..this isnt falling into the place how i wanted it to at all.but when does it EVER. its easier to say that i realize this is no longer in my hands then for me to actualy let it go..
whatever the issue is, really loving them through it measures the true amount of love had for someone i believe. ii dont feel its fair to be punished emotionally for a mistake that was made...if anything a desicion needs to be made. either be maad && off it.. or over it so we kan move on... the inbetween has to be the worst feeling.. its like fake LOL's && sarcastic coomments that hav true meaning. its the feeling of not really caring what happens at this point, putting in little to no effort && rolling(tho we never roll) your eyes to the "i miss you"'s that use to matter, which have now turned into "yeah right"'s... at what point is it okay to not feel baad about the things that have occured because you cannot possibly fix them, but only grow from now.. we waiit? && how long do you wait before you realize they may not come.