“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.”
-- my fortune cookie
how Appropriate i thought.. i sat at this table listening to my mother ramble, while i stared at this little piece of paper.. my love life, flashed before my eyes..it felt like death..like loss of breath, foggy imaged memories all passing thru my mind like a Rolodex.. everything went silent. when ii came back to focus on whutever my mother was saying, i realized i was crying,un controlably.. iit was like shock had completly come over me.. when things happen invloving me ...iit takes me a minute to comprehend everything that has just transpired, whether im the one in the right or wrong, it dusnt matter..
ii write because im horrible at explaining things OUTLOUD..everything..my brain moves faster then my mouth..more then 27 thoughts go thru my mind at once..so when im the one thats upset, and doing the confronting, it takes me at least a day before i can fully explain whuts wrong, why im upset && blah blah blah.. && when im the one in the wrong... it has to be 20 times worse..if n e thing it makes me look even guiltier..its worse then public speaking.. my mind draws blanks.. and as i try to put my thoughts together..nothing comes out..
when im upset at something, ii get over it once ive said what ive had to say. i dont hold grudges, partly because i dont like fighting.i avoid it as much as possible.. not to say that everything goes back to normal.. ii wiish it was that simple tho..
((2bc..))