February 5th...
AND I JUST DONT CARE ANYMORE
i think im to nice. i think im way to good at pretending things are okay. i dont know how to express my emotions. im tired of evreyone thinking of me as a "wife" type. im angry, and im upset. wifes are polite, and know when to be quiet, and wait up all night for their husbands. they wash dishes and clean up after a husbands mess. they are always taken advantage of, and the wife is completly aware of it. she is blinded to the fact that things will never get better unless she opens her mouth. a wife sweeps all issues under the rug. when asked how its going, a smile is shown and the "evreything is great" tone comes out..when alone, teeth clench and grit in irratation. i am everything a wife is an isn't. do i let people walk all over me?..no. but do i have maybe too much patience.?.. yes. and with patience, should come a lack of frustration and better understanding. but im tired of understanding everyone else, and making excuses for other people mistakes. there is a point where a person must realize the path that is being taken, and from there make a choice. right now, im standing inbetween those two paths, deciding on whether to put a smile on, and get to the household chores, or to tell the truth and shame the devil. every choice in life, leads to a different outcome, but in many of the situations i am currently in, i only see the same fate for them all.
p.s.
someone asked me today why i write..and i realized that my words have more courage then i do.
-SlowPoke'