08 SECRETS....

CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?...

"ii feel like i just got the wind knocked outt of me. you can not make someone love you but i thought that if you loved someone with your entire being, then maybe.they would catch on. what can i say. i am thee truest sucker for love. and to be honest with myself and the rest of the world..sex was prolly the issue...sex is just another symbol of the love you share with someone... so maybe that was the issue to begin with.. like so many other things.. i rushed into love.. and found myself in love alone. i am juss like my mother.. always chasing after those little boys..i couldnt even tell you what i want in a man, for the simple fact ive never had one ..i dont even know how to be alone.. let alone be with someone else.. giving all of my emotions was the first mistake. now i understand why trust is earned. you cant trust someone to take care of your heart when they've done nothing to prove they are worthy of it.. i cant even love him from a distance now. everything juss needs to be cut off. because right now i cannot imagine life without him.. he was my let out from the rest of my world. so i need to progress with my life and learn to live alone. i need to learn how and when to say no. niceness does not get you far in this world. cold hearted women prosper alot faster in life i have come to find. he will become another reason for my frustration . another mistake that i made. and within the few minutes i have expierenced this.. i am already begining to find the things i could have done diffrently. what happen to give and you shall recieve. thats bullshyt. a man is what is needed.. and since i cringe at the the thought of any form of relationship. i know that these days will be lonely for a long while. my accomplishments will keep me warm."