THEY LiiiiiiEN'!! LOL.

Your Birthdate: August 22

You tend to be understated and under appreciated. You have a hidden force to do amazing things, doing them your own way. People may see you as strange and shy, but they know little. Your unconventional ways have more power than they (and even you) know. Your strength: Standing up for what you know is true Your weakness: You tend to be picky and rigid Your power color: Silver Your power symbol: Square Your power month: April

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Die
To dream that you die in your dream, symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or in your life. Although such a dreams may bring about feelings of fear and anxiety, it is no cause for alarm and is often considered a positive symbol. Dreams of experiencing your own death usually means that big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind. These changes does not necessarily imply a negative turn of events. Metaphorically, dying can be seen as an end or a termination to your old ways and habits. So, dying does not always mean a physical death, but an ending of something.
On a negative note, to dream that you die may represent involvement in deeply painful relationships or unhealthy, destructive behaviors. You may feeling depressed or feel strangled by a situation or person in your waking life. Perhaps your mind is preoccupied with someone who is terminally ill or dying. Alternatively, you may be trying to get out of some obligation, responsibility or other situation.
To see someone dying in your dream, signifies that your feelings for that person are dead or that a significant change/loss is occurring in your relationship with that person. Alternatively, you may want to repress that aspect of yourself that is represented by the dying person.

&& ii promise you. iit wont happen again.

to whom it may concern:

ii do entirely way too much for you. i place ur problems before my own. ii give you money, love, && affection at a moments notice.. rule number one: no man should ever have his hand out to a women. point blank. and ii support you, but ii kant continue to support u if u wont even support yourself. no job, no car, no realistic obtainable goals?? I'm not saying you cant be a rapper, or play ball, or own your own fortune 5 company.. I'm saying what are you doing to move forward?.. to progress in your dreams? nothing but holding your hand out to me. ...its not even about me being obviously almost better off without you.its a different thing when you need moral support, or a sense of stability. that I'm hear for.but don't take advantage of my kindness. don't take it for a weakness, and certainly don't think i wont catch on. Ive milked so many niggas, i should own a fucking cow ranch.what benefit are you in my life, when all your doing is taking up space, energy && my precious time. you make little to no efforts to show your appreciation. can anigga get a thankyou.. I'm sure you hear this part everyday.. but "your young and you have your entire life to fail and make decisions." you still have allot of growing up to do. but ii am not your mother. ii refuse to work 2 jobs to put money into a little boys pocket especially when its not benefiting him nor me... "dick is free.. pussy costs money"...juss know that. the stage im at in my life, im transitioning into women hood, i have an entire life of my own to deal with..ii cant carry the weight of your world on my shoulders. if i wanted a child i would have had one. im only 19, and while im growing and learning, and experiencing the best and worst things about life, i dont have the time nor patience to carry a really cute life size paper weight with me wherever i go..by that, i mean you need to be without me. you need to grow up and become a man, and you cant do that if your always relying on me. i cannot love you anymore then the person standing next to me at a bus stop. u have completely distorted my way of thinking.. all becus you caught me off guard in my weakest moment of life... && i promise you it wont happen again.

dear reader.

My world is angry && cold
Alone and left to sleep with misery
Bed bugs no longer enjoy the taste of my sheets
Without your sent my blankets are just
Blank memories
Id get up && go but
my shoes don’t like my socks
my heart and feet think alike
cripple && inconsistent
i just need a hug
hold me tightly
&& dont let go
until my pain falls into your pockets



-tay

MIRRORED MISERIES

im really trying to figure out whats wrong with me.. i always played around.. like yea.. sure, i hav issues.. but i reallly do. pain is alot deeper then the word. indescribable && unbearable iis what i walk around feeling. like when you use all your energy crying for a long period of time, yelling, and screaming, and panting.. and then the after effects are feeling drained, unaccomplised, and tired... thats how my days are. i wake up mad that i even had to wake up, and then my whole day is filled with fatigue, and bitterness. i sumtimes wish i kuld juss stay sleep forever.. i dropped out of college.. (for the semester).. ii sleep all day until i have work.. and my nights consist of going where ever the wind blows. i find it hard to sleep alone. so i dont sleep until 4, 5 , sometimes 6 in the morning.. and thats my cycle.. ive decided to take some time away from the world... im gunna be my own dissapearing act. and for the next 2 weeks, im juss gunna go... and be.. ive come to the conclusion that god hates me. whoever he is.. he's decided it was a mistake to give me happiness. the little moments i have to laugh, or smile.. im quickly reminded of every reason not to smile. . i dunno whut to do any more.. drinking && partying, dusnt cover up misery. i hav to look at myself evryday in the mirror, and everyday i see all the coverups writinn on my forehead. i know that i have alot wrong in mylife, and im young, so its okay.. but i guess.. my problem was asking for help... the few people that are lucky enuff to kno whut im going thru... those r the people i truly kare about.. and its only for them that im seeking this help..because ive given up on prayers and birthday wishes..

....

ii find it hard to sleep alone at night. having another person next to me gives me a since of security.. when alone.. it leaves my mind to wonder.. to replay the painful process my life is currently going thru. i try to water it down with drunken nights && lots of sex..(to be blunt).. my worries crowd my mind.. but only when alone. silence is my worst enemy..silence is awkward and is like a mirror.. leaving you with no jokes , no background music. just you and your thoughts.. i try to stay focused on the things i need to do to move foward in life.. but patience couldnt be n e harder if i had to stand on clouds to achieve it.. everything seems to be in slow motion. almost loosing my grandmother... paying bills.. REAL bills.. RENT money is no joke. all these things woke up me.. but iit makes me want to run away from adult hood even more. it doesnt hurt when i sleep. .. its when i wake up and things are no diffrent... i hope that this is all worth it. surrounding myself with people that care about me is all thats getting me thru each day.. goodnight world.